The Evil Inside Me

The Evil Inside Me

I am a parasite, I live deep within you. I make it impossible for you to stay true.
A cancer in your soul, no cure, no treatment! I feed on your peace and your moments of weakness.
You call out for change but I know you don’t mean it; you beg me to stop but but I can’t hear you scream it. 
 
We know each other and we coexist but deep down you know you cannot resist.
The pull of my power the draw of my name, your deepest desires to relish in pain.
The pain of others, a pain you can spread, a pain that sparks, the dark thoughts in your head. 
 
Where do I come from? You haven’t a clue, but still, here I sit, deep within you.
Waiting, hoping, stalking my prey, counting and pacing as you run away.
Knowing that no matter how hard you run, you will never escape me because you and I, are one. 
 
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  • Lightz

    Do you ever give in, let the evil win, stop the running and fighting? What happens when you do, regret, sorrow, a vow to not let it happen again, or does it all depend on the serverity?

    • http://www.raymmar.com/ Raymmar Tirado

      I give in a lot more than I might like to admit publicly. I have learned to coexist with my evil thoughts. Along with all the not so evil thoughts. They help me understand my true self.

      I used to hide them fromyself and the world, pretending to be perfect but none of us are. None of us could ever hope to be. We can only try to be better.

      Sometimes you feel shame when you give in to the evil. Guilty, sorry, selfish. Lots of things. But sometimes you feel good. And that is the scary part.

  • Lisa Mei Norton

    To paraphrase the story of the Eskimo and the two dogs (adapted as “Two Wolves” in Native American circles)…inside each of us there are two dogs (wolves)…one that is good…and one that is evil…which one wins? The one that we feed.

    • http://raymmar.com/about-me/ Raymmar Tirado

      Very wise. I like that analogy. Sometimes the dogs fight to the death. Sometimes evil wins, even when we try to starve it. We are all weak at moments in our lives. Additionally, in someone like me there are way more than two dogs. Lol. More like a whole pack in my head and they often pull in opposite directions.

    • http://www.raymmar.com/ Raymmar Tirado

      Great analogy. We all have evil inside of us and that is a pretty easy way to look at it. Unfortunately I think there are more than just two dogs running around in this head and they are often all pulling in different directions.

      Thanks for sharing.

  • Donnie

    This is beautiful and so true – i think we as human beings should try to fight evil inside us as much as possible. Take a look at the world and you realize that most human beings so easily succumb to the path of fear and evil everyday. I think it’s time to grow stronger and resist temptations and bad thoughts that only destroy us and others.

    • http://raymmar.com/about-me/ Raymmar

      @donnie,

      Thanks for your reply. I agree. We all have the capacity for evil, some of us test the boundaries and others jump right in. The choice is up to each of us.

  • Molly

    I was just telling someone the other day that we all have a darkness in us. It just depends on how you let it define you and how much of it you reveal to the world, accepting it as part of your authentic self.

    • http://raymmar.com/about-me/ Raymmar

      So true. Evil lives in all of us. It is the extent to which we let it control us that can get us into trouble. The people who pretend otherwise are some of the least genuine people I have ever interacted with.

  • https://www.facebook.com/godsgracefulone Grace Durbin

    Wow. I love this.

    • http://raymmar.com/about-me/ Raymmar

      Thank you. I have another, longer one that I am wrapping up soon. I will probably try to record that one in some way. Either audio or video for the blog.

      • Grace Durbin

        Can’t wait :)