Am I Analog Dating in A Digital World?
How to date if you cant relate
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The adult female human, has to be the most confusing creature on earth. At least to a guy like me.
A guy who refuses to get on Tinder and has no interest in online dating. A guy who no longer wants to meet girls at a bar or compete with the assholes who are out hunting for hook-ups. A guy who just want something deeper. Something more human.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my fair share of flings over the years, and I’m not passing judging on anyone. I’m just saying…
I’m not the proverbial nice-guy. You know, the one who always finishes last. But I am nice, and I am a guy. I also happen to be considerate, and hopelessly romantic.
Sometimes I feel like that leaves me analog dating in a digital world. As if I’m setting myself at a permanent disadvantage when it comes to finding the right woman by not participating in the online dating scene. But then I see assholes all around me doing their thing, hanging out with their flavor of the week, and having another fling. But it all seems so shallow. And sometimes shallow is ok, but right now, in my life, I’m looking for something more. But everywhere I look, it seems like I’m completely out of touch. And even scarier still, it seems like the assholes are winning!
Like some subliminal message from society that in order to get ahead, you have to be a dick. It seems like (at least in the modern world) being an asshole is a distinct advantage. Especially when it comes to picking up women. Not only that, but the relationships should be physical first. Sexual, then superficial and then, maybe something more.
Sometimes it seems like maybe I should just change my plan and give in, because, “Don’t hate the player, hate the game!”
So maybe I’ll start treating people like shit and not caring about how they feel. Maybe I’ll spend more time looking out for number one, and not giving a single fuck about anything else. Maybe I’ll spend a little more time on vanity, instead of actually investing in the future version of me.
Maybe I should stop reading and spend more time in the gym. Maybe I should get a procedure to take care of that double chin. Maybe if I change my appearance, I can finally get a win.
I hear men talking shit about women as if they were trophies to be won. As if they were prizes in this game of lust. And for good reason.
Because then I hear women bitching about men. About how “they are all assholes.” And I can’t help but think to myself… DUH!. You keep rewarding those assholes! Of course more and more of us are going to imitate the behavior in order to appeal to you.
Of course more and more of us are forgetting what it means to treat you with respect because you have shown us that this is the behavior that gets your attention. At least the type of attention we are looking for in that moment.
You have trained us to be this way. You have unwittingly set the rules for this game and showed us how to play it.
But I refuse to participate. I refuse to give in to those superficial relationships, spurred on by a perfect selfie and clever caption. For at least as long as I can.
Instead, I’ll keep being funny, and witty and smart. I’ll keep reading, writing, and learning. I’ll keep on experiencing life, expressing my thoughts and emotions, and otherwise being my crazy self.
I’ll keep looking for love on an analog plane. I’ll keep looking for real human connections and honest conversations. I’ll patiently wait, for a moment when I can look you in the eye before asking you on a date. For a moment in which I hope, we will actually be able to relate.
But you should know, I’m not gonna to pretend to be anyone other than myself in an attempt to win your attention, and that’s never gonna change. I guess I’m just looking for someone who gets that, and maybe feels the same. Someone who might be a little crazy, but makes me feel sane.