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You Are Not My Friend! [Video]

This video spawned from a poem that I wrote one night after dealing with some personal issues with someone who I thought was a friend of mine. It is not necessarily directed at any individual but more of a combined message to everyone and everything that has ever held me back in life.

I am not immune from the message of the poem either as I have often been my own biggest obstacle to success in life. Sometimes people let you down, sometimes you let other people down but no one ever writes a story about people who get knocked down. They write stories about the guys who get back up. About the people who are able to overcome adversity, clear any obstacle and otherwise keep moving forward on this ride called life.

This video is my statement to the world that I am done looking for excuses or crutches. No longer will my destiny be controlled by the actions, thoughts or emotions of others. This is my message to the world that I am back, I am here and I will be heard. I encourage you to let go as well and embrace your adversity in order to move past it. Allow it to strengthen you and empower your actions moving forward.

“It is our experiences in life that define who we are.”

This video started as a personal quest to challenge myself in a new media and with the intention of letting people take a closer look through the inner workings of my mind and thought process. If it helps one person get through a difficult time in their life, overcome a single adversity or gives them the strength to remove something toxic from their lives then I will have fulfilled my intentions.

I hope you enjoy my first attempt at video production. I hope to do much more in the mixed arts so be sure to subscribe to my blog and keep up to date on my journey to take over the world.

The Poem

You don’t write, you don’t visit or call. You just sit on the sideline and watch me fall. You never cared what I had inside, it never occurred that I had something to hide. Selfish and stubborn, it was all about you, none of those feelings we had would prove true. You ignored me in life when things got tough, and forgot about me when life got rough. You see me in public, you smile and pretend but I know where you’ll be when this story ends.

I fell hard, in the dead of the night, but what do you care, it wasn’t you, right? I’ve succumbed to my demons, I gave up control. I find myself lost in this deep dark hole. This isn’t me, this wasn’t my fate. I’m slowly becoming this man that I hate. What happened to dreams and good times to come, now all I have left are my memories of fun. This is not the life I thought I would live and I have so much left inside me to give!

Its so dark, I can’t see the light, I sit here and tremble, captured by fright. Totally aware of whats going on, knowing what’s right, doing what’s wrong, spinning a tale as I go along. A master at lies I twist the truth and write off my failure of as a story of youth. The excuses sound strong but they don’t carry weight, trying my hardest to deny this fate. But this won’t due, this can’t be the end, this road called life has at least one more bend.

So I stand up, all by myself, get outta my way, I don’t need your help. I’m coming out swinging and I’m making my stand, its time to start living the life that I planned. I’m gonna channel this rage, time to turn the page, watch me now as I make the world my stage. It’s time to shine, this is my reprieve, determination is all that I need. This hole that I’m in wont be a trend, the world WILL listen to the message I send

Ill get to the top, I won’t be denied, you’ll never hear, “oh well, he tried”. I’m not turning back and I’m not giving in, life doesn’t owe me so I’ll fight for MY win! No one can stop this path that I’m on, and I won’t get mad when you’re singing my song. I’m done living this lie, so please don’t be surprised when I dust myself off and pass you right by. So don’t reach out, and please don’t pretend, get out of my life, you are not my friend.

Special thanks to Tyler McCool and McCool Media for the videography and editing of this video. 

not my friend feature image

12 replies
  1. Vickie
    Vickie says:

    Great video! I believe you put words into a tough situation for people to talk about and you evoked some pretty dramatic emotions!

    • Raymmar
      Raymmar says:

      Thanks Vickie, Apparently others agree. I have gotten replies from people letting me know that it stirred their emotions. All the way from goosebumps to tears which is powerful and humbling all at the same time. Thanks for watching.

    • Raymmar
      Raymmar says:

      Thanks for your encouragement Dayle. I was glad to finally get this thing done and out to the world. Quite freeing actually. There will definitely be more coming and we are even talking about turning this poem into a song.

  2. Rossana Corniel
    Rossana Corniel says:

    Amazing video primo! It must be so liberating to have been able to write and share your emotions in such an artistic way, also very brave to do so. Bravo

    • Raymmar
      Raymmar says:

      Rossana, Thanks for commenting and watching the video. It was extremely liberating and gratifying to get this video done. It is really the premise for what this website is all about. Mostly just a journey through the crazy world that is my brain. Thanks for taking a moment to share in my creativity.


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