This video is dedicated to the victims of last night’s shooting in Orlando Florida.
While the shooter was reported to be Muslim and affiliated with ISIS, it would be naive of us to think that the same thing cannot happen inside of Christianity or any other religion for that matter.
The Slippery Slope of #Sexuality and #Religious #Hypocrisy – https://t.co/eXhOCMdOpM – #PulseNighClubShooting #pulsevictims
— Raymmar Tirado (@RayTirado) June 12, 2016
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“All great movements are popular movements. They are the volcanic eruptions of human passions and emotions, stirred into activity by the ruthless Goddess of Distress or by the torch of the spoken word cast into the midst of the people.”
Adolf Hitler
When we allow ideology to blind us from our humanity we find ourselves capable of justifying many behaviors, even murder. It’s happened before and we would be fooling ourselves to think it cannot happen again.
While the people in this video are not directly calling for the death of homosexuals, this type of rhetoric is what leads people to feel justified in their behaviors. Even as far as taking the lives of those whose lifestyles they disagree with.
It’s senseless, and none of us should stand for it.
The timing of this video is almost eery. I was working on it to publish this week as part of a post about the evolution of my ideology, and I decided to modify the video based on recent events.
I see all these posts from so called “Christians” condemning the Orlando Nightclub shooter as a Muslim. But hate speech is hate speech, and it’s naive to think that this type of behavior is limited to any specific religion.
As you will see in this video, there are no geographic or religious border on ignorance.
Share this with your friends to help increase awareness of these ignorant ideologies. Then share your thoughts on Medium, Facebook or Twitter.
What do you think? Is this the true word of God? Or are we ramping up for a larger religious conflict? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
Learn everything you need to know about where we have been and where we are headed here at Raymmar.com.
A short poem about the fear of falling in love.
If you had asked me a few years back to attend the Annual Harvey Milk Festival, I would have looked at you a little weird. I would have told you that I think homosexuality is unnatural and that I wouldn’t be attending because I did not agree with the lifestyle.
Watch a short video from the most recent Harvey Milk Festival. Courtesy of Sarasota Underground.
I might have referenced a gay person that I was somewhat familiar with and claimed to not have a problem with their sexual preference, but deep down, there was a piece of my brain that made me feel really uncomfortable with the idea of homosexuality. The part of me that society has trained to feel that way, the part that hates the thought of two members of the same sex finding happiness inside of an intimate relationship with one another.
But that part of me is dying fast. And I can’t tell you that it is gone completely or that it ever will, but I have a whole new perspective on many things in life. And the amount of fucks I give about how people decide to explore their sexuality is quickly fading.
And honestly, what kind of world are we living in, where the things that happen in the privacy of of our own bedrooms, among two consenting adults, is anyone’s business other than that of the people who are in the room doing it. And more importantly, who the hell am I to tell anyone, where, when or how they should play with their private parts.
“But homosexuality is immoral and wrong!” Said some religious reader somewhere!
Oh yeah, says who? The bible? Your church? Your government?
Related article: Is everything you know about religion wrong?
Who the heck are they? And why have we let them into the most intimate parts of our private lives? Are we so incapable of ruling ourselves that we have deferred every one of our decisions to the approval of others?
Are we not just people living inside of small communities? Are we not all human? Do we not still preserve the right to think and act on our own? Have we lost the ability to mind our own business? Have we stopped managing our own lives and shifted towards the idea of collectively managing the lives of others, and in turn, lost control of everything?
And what kind of world are we building for our children? One where we are still free to think and act on our own? Or one that is managed by mandate? A world where our decisions are dictated to us? One that leaves us always worried about the opinions of someone else. Always letting someone tell us what to do, what to say, and how to say it.
So you see, I may not support the entire LGBTQ movement, but I wholeheartedly support my gay friends. I support their right to believe in whatever they believe in. I support their right to gather, and celebrate and have sex with whoever they want… As long as it’s not with me.
Because what right do I have to claim free speech, if I am not willing to support those who speak freely?
What right do I have to talk about liberty if those are around me are not encouraged to live freely. And what right do I have to tell you, or anyone for that matter, how to live your life?
Because that is equality.
Because that is the level playing field that America was supposed to be. Not this doctored up version of democracy that is starting to feel more and more like fascism.
So I am supporting the Harvey Milk Festival and my friends who help pull it off every year. With my words and with my wallet, and I would ask you to consider doing the same. Mostly because they need it, but more importantly, because America needs more people who are willing to stand up for what they believe in, even if that means defending someone else’s right to do something you might not completely agree with.
How to date when you cant relate. An open exploration of our current dating paradigm.
This post is part of my 30 day creative writing challenge. Click here to learn more about the challenge or here to explore the other posts in this series.
You hate it. Every time you have to go in on a Saturday or stay late on a weekday. Every time you have to work a few extra hours to get the job done. You are “so much better than all of this!”
You’re not perfect but life is hard and others wouldn’t understand what you’re going through. I mean, your story is different. You are hurting inside, more than I could ever imagine.
If only the world could see… they’d have to understand… Wouldn’t they?
You want that great schedule and kick ass career, but just can’t seem to get your ass in gear.
You deserve a raise. You feel undervalued. But you continue to give the world nothing to appreciate.
You keep spinning your wheels while repressing the superhero inside of you.
You know it’s in there. You feel it stirring. Trying to shine, dying to be seen.
Waiting for the moment you decide to let it out. When you finally let go of all that self doubt.
But don’t believe the lies. They just aren’t true. Whatever you are in this world, is up to no one but you.
Don’t believe the lies! https://t.co/4grkBkHoha #30DoT pic.twitter.com/EQrxTKvLFT
— Raymmar Tirado (@RayTirado) March 24, 2015
“Oh and, I just talked to your boss… he said your raise is effective just as soon as you are!”
P.s. You’re fired! – With cause.
Highlight any text in this article to share it directly.
So now what? Where will you turn? Will you go back to work and continue to yearn?
Or come out on your own, and show the whole world you’ve actually grown.
Because education is great, but don’t let it fool you, out on the street, the real world will school you!
The real world will school you! #30DoT https://t.co/4grkBkHoha pic.twitter.com/sIwjHIcqyL
— Raymmar Tirado (@RayTirado) March 24, 2015
You want things you are unwilling to give. To set yourself free, to let yourself live.
Stuck in a box, a corner of life. Stuck on repeat. Stuck on strife.
Tell me you hate it, keep on complaining, show me your tears, I’m patiently waiting.
Tell me you hate it, keep on complaining. Show me your tears, I’m patiently waiting. #30DoT https://t.co/4grkBkHoha pic.twitter.com/wdgl9upl9C
— Raymmar Tirado (@RayTirado) March 24, 2015
To show you the way, to gain your trust. To give you knowledge and a new type of lust.
Not one for sex or selfish desire, but one of accomplishment, one to aspire!
I’ll push you to work, but not for the machine. And I’ll help you accomplish your wildest dream!
I’ll show you that you are the thing, standing in between you and succeed.
You and your stubborn reluctance to feed. On all that’s around you, on all that you need.
But soon you will starve and then you will see, the lessons of life, the lessons you need.
To get you through, to help you exceed. To be the best you-to-the-world you could possibly be.
Nothing more that what you need, Let me in, I’m just planting the seed.
So water away, and together we’ll see, that we all have the tools, to set ourselves free!
Did you enjoy this post? I’d love it if you shared it with a friend!
Mike Tyson once said “Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face.”
And life has a way of punching us when we least expect it.
This post is part of my 30 day creative writing challenge. Click here to learn more about the challenge or here to explore the other posts in this series.
There’s nothing like getting a group text in the middle of the day to let you know that your dad has been in an accident and is laid up in a hospital. Turns out he was riding his motorcycle on I-95 in Miami when he was struck by another vehicle and flung from the bike. Luckily it was stop and go traffic on the highway so he was not hit while going full speed.
First reports indicate that the only major damage is a broken leg and some bad road rash. Maybe a busted up bike and a sore ego to go along with it all as well.
It wasn’t too long ago that I got a call from my best friends girlfriend. My brother from another mother had been thrown off of his motorcycle that morning. But he would not be as lucky as my dad had been today. He was going full speed when he was flung from his bike. He shattered his pelvis and both wrists. It was a miracle he survived.
Both of these are freakish moments which could have dramatically changed my life. So close having two of the most important people in my life permanently removed from the population. But nope, not this time. And hopefully not any time soon.
I’ve not had to deal with death very often in my life. There was one difficult death in my past, but most of the death in my life has been relatives that I was not very close with, so the pain was not devastating. Even though part of me wishes it had hurt more. Part of me wishes that I was not so estranged from my extended family so that those deaths would have meant more to me.
But today we are not talking about death. We are talking about life.
The news I got today, although initially upsetting, is actually good news. It means that right now I am writing this thought as I head out to go see my dad. Alive.
I could just as easily be going down to handle funeral arrangements, and that would suck. And as cliche as it sounds, that should remind us that there is no guarantee of anything in this life. There may not be a tomorrow, or even a tonight. There is no promise that this moment is not your last. So make sure you do something today that matters.
Make sure you make the most of whatever moments you do have because no matter how well laid your plans may be, there is always the rest of the world to deal with. And that means complete chaos is always an option.
If I shared this article with you directly it’s because you are part of my family of friends. Please take a moment to read it and then share it directly with those who are in your family of friends.
This post is part of my 30 day creative writing challenge. Click here to learn more about the challenge or here to explore the other posts in this series.
I don’t come from a big family, so over the years my friends have become my family.
In some ways that family is more important to me than the one I was born into. I mean… I don’t want to diminish the strength of blood relationships but that is not what this post is about.
This story is about the few people we encounter through the course of our lives, that make us feel as if we were meant to meet. Those people from whom you are incapable of withdrawing your unconditional love once it has been given. The people we call our best friends.
The family we are born into “requires” our love but we get to decide which of our friends “deserve” our love.
There may be nothing more powerful than picking the people you want to love in life. Then letting a few of them in to see the real you. The broken you.
See, we all put on a show for the world. We all want the public to see us one way, while in reality we live anther. Because who would accept us if we were really ourselves all the time?
It wouldn’t take long before we started getting into fights, and running into problems at work. We would start pissing people off left and right and eventually we would find ourselves all alone. So instead, we pretend.
We attempt to restrict our true selves. We pretend to comport in order to fit into the different communities in which we live. But there is a small group of people from which you need not hide.
The people who you would take a bullet for, and just as fast, punch in the face. Maybe even while laying in the hospital bed after taking that bullet. And you would throw that punch with confidence, knowing that they will love you anyway.
Because physical pain stands no chance when you make that kind of connection.
When you find someone who can make you smile from a million miles away. When you find someone who doesn’t even have to be in the same room to make you feel better about yourself. When you find someone who you can allow into the closest circles of these lies we love to live.
When you can find a person who decides to put you first, because they know that you have done the same for them.
When you can finally find, a family of friends.
This post is part of my 30 day creative writing challenge. Click here to learn more about the challenge or here to explore the other posts in this series.
Dear god, what did I get myself into?
If you don’t know, about 11 days ago, I committed to 30 consecutive days of sharing my thoughts publicly.
What was I thinking?
I’m starting to wonder that myself right about now.
I never considered the fact that I might run out of things to write about. Maybe I should have planned ahead, or had a few articles ready on the fly. Maybe I should have prepared for moments like this. For the moments when nothing makes sense. When the only thought going through my head is “Go lay in bed!” For moments when I must not only fight the world, but must also fight myself. To create, to live, to smile.
It’s not that I’m at a loss for words. There are always plenty of words running through my head. But if I were to put them out to the world in their raw form, none of you would be able to understand them. None of you would be able to deal with the havoc that they are so capable of wreaking.
Instead I must massage and manipulate those thoughts. I must mold them so that you can read them and enjoy them as an interesting story. As beautiful allegory.
I wonder if any of you could last a day inside of my head?
I wonder if I could last a day inside of yours?
I wonder what it will be like when we are able to experience each other so intimately. Maybe that will be the 22nd century orgasm. The ability to jump into someones brain in a way that was never before possible. Combining your emotional experiences with those of another through the blending of technological and chemical processes. An experience that will surely make sexual relationships obsolete. After all, we’ll probably be ordering perfect babies online by then.
What the hell are you even talking about Raymmar?
Oh, nothing!
Just random thoughts, a few of the many that come to me through the course of any given day.
By the way, is it day 11 or day 12 of this challenge? Who even knows?
Wait what? It’s your challenge, you should know!
Shit, it’s not even half way through and it seems all I have left are fractions of thoughts. Thoughts about business mixed in with thoughts about bills. Thoughts about paying them and about trying to get by until the next time they come back around. Just a few of the random thoughts that I always deal with as a fledgling entrepreneur who keeps his brain out on public display.
The thoughts of a guy who keeps it real in his writing as well as the world he lives in. Something that has proven to be more costly than initially anticipated. So much for the freedom to be free. Turns out it’s pretty expensive to be free.
This website and some of my thoughts, have cost me A LOT of money in consulting contracts over the last year and a half.
The language, the raw expression of emotion. The religious references, the political rants. All of it has upset potential clients enough to lead them elsewhere for services that I was best suited to deliver. Rejected based on open expressions and thought. Rejected for everything this country is supposed to be known for. For poking fun at the things that we are not supposed to talk about publicly. Things that we are supposed to think only for ourselves.
Because the narrative needs to be controlled in order to be effective. And it would upset the balance if too many of us actually figured it out at once. If enough of us realized that life is a game, and then actually started to play it. And learned that the rules of this world are not written in stone. They are written by men and made to be challenged.
Imagine if the whole world was willing to admit that they might be wrong. About something. About anything. About everything. Maybe even about themselves.
Imagine if we could understand that at the end of the day, we are all human. That we are all capable of excellence, yet equally capable of making mistakes. That none of us are perfect. And that just because someone want us to pretend to be that way, does not mean we have to.
So here is another day of my thoughts. As random a glimpse into the back of my brain as you’ll ever get. As I sit here, avoiding myself and exposing myself, all at the same time. Trying to connect you to a piece of yourself that we all recognize, but hate to admit. Like riding a moped to the grocery store. It might be fun until your friends see you, but then the explanation begins. Because there is always an explanation isn’t there?
Always a reason. And that reason is never us? But maybe it should be.
A short poem about self doubt and the process of being consumed by the unhealthy thoughts that often creep into our heads. Day 4 #30DOT
This is the third post in my 30 day creative writing challenge. Click here to learn about the challenge or explore the other posts in this series.
Hello friends!
No, not you internet friends. This is not about you. I’m not trying to be rude, but this is my 30 day challenge and I’ll make you cry if I want to.
But seriously…
This post is specifically intended for my real world friends.
These words are for the people I hang out with on a regular basis. The people I eat with, drink with, and sometimes make bad decisions with. The people who know me outside of these short bursts of words that I regularly post online.
Mainly, I want to tell you that I love you.
But keep reading. For real though. Or I’ll cut you!
I know I can be a dick, and sometimes you probably just want to smack me upside the head. But I’m glad you don’t. Otherwise I’d probably have to walk around with a helmet on.
To the girls: Sorry if you catch me sneaking a peek! I’m a guy, and you’re hot. Maybe next time don’t let it all hang out. Wait, what am I talking about? Ignore that last line.
To the guys: Sorry I’m smarter and funnier than you. I have a few extra pounds to make up for and really, it wouldn’t be fair if I was this awesome and in great shape.
Shit, there I go being an ass again. See, I can’t seem to help myself. I really do love all of my friends though, like a vegan loves vegetables. Like a prostitute loves penicillin. Like Asians love rice!
But does any of this even matter? I know a few of you read my blogs because you tell me now and again, but what about the rest of you? I could probably say whatever I wanted at this point and most of you would never know it.
It’s not like I expect you to read every article but hell, I write a shit ton. And the whole world seems to be watching, yet it often feels as though none of you care. We are friends right? Why don’t we talk more about what we can do for each other. How we can help each other get to where we are going?
So enough bitching, here is what I want you to do!
I want you to share something with me. It doesn’t have to be personal, and you don’t have to do it publicly. It doesn’t mean you need to sign up for my writing challenge (but you could subscribe to my email list), I just want you to connect with me at a deeper level.
I know we can’t always talk on the phone or get together face to face but we can at least take the time to share a few written thoughts with one another. At the very least we can take a second to say something meaningful to the people that matter in our lives. And that’s what this post is all about. To let you know how much I care.
To ask you to give me a part of you to hold and call my own. Let me know where you stand, so that I can come stand right beside you! I’m inviting you to share your dreams with me, and tell me how I can help you reach them. Tell me your biggest fears so that if they come up we can face them together. Tell me I suck so that I can get better, and please don’t get mad if I do the same.
Let’s make a deal to stay away from the drama. Let’s make a deal to always be real. Let’s make a deal to not be scared to tell each other how we feel. Because anything less than that would mean we aren’t really friends. And you just read this whole post so that seems pretty unlikely!
So keep on being you. Because you’re fucking awesome. Otherwise we wouldn’t be friends. So… there.
Anyway, I love you guys!
Now share the shit out of this post so I can get on Oprah in a couple months when it’s time to start selling my book! K-Bye now!
This is the second post in my 30 day creative writing challenge. Click here to learn about the challenge or explore the other posts in this series.
I’m not very good at love…
Click the image to Follow Raymmar Tirado on instagram
Actually, I’ve destroyed every relationship I’ve ever been in.
The biggest trophy in my case of fuck-ups came from a four year relationship that ended in divorce. But I’m over it, or at least that’s what I tell people.
The truth is, that when you truly love someone (at least in my jaded perspective) you give them a part of your soul. You give them a small piece of yourself that you will never get back. And the pain that comes from having that person rip it from you and run away with it forever is one that will never fully fade away. You can simply hope to get better at living with a little less of yourself inside.
I was heartbroken for a long time after my divorce. Unable to let others in. Unable to let anyone love me because I hated myself.
Over time, my heart grew cold. I slowly became jaded, callous and cynical. There seemed to be a process of petrification that was consuming my heart and soul from the inside out.
I have only had one relationship with any ounce of importance since then, a relationship that showed me that there might be a chance for me to love again. A relationship that probably never would have worked, but one that felt right in the moment. A fate I’ll never know because I walked away from it to chase my dreams. The same dream that leaves me here in front of you. Alone.
I have however, recently seen a few holes in the armor that protects my heart. There have been a few moments where I have allowed the thought of being that happy again to cross my mind. But only for a split second. Then I slam the shit out of that door and tell myself that “there is no time for a distraction right now!” I tell myself that I must get it right this time and that there is no more room for failure! Definitely no time for women! Only work, art and self hate.
But that’s not true. If there is one thing I should be making time for in my life right now, it’s love. Not necessarily with someone of the opposite sex, but for myself. And it’s that thought process that leads me to remember that at the beginning of this year I made a single resolution. It was not to lose weight, it was not to get into better shape, make more money, buy a nice car or anything like that. My resolution was simple. Learn how to love.
I wanted to learn how to love myself again so that others might have a chance at actually loving me. Because if I learned one thing from all of those failed relationships in the past, it’s that I must be true to myself in order to expect someone to be true to me.
But being true has been hard. Being true in the life of me can be quite scary. The thoughts on this website have cost me more than $150,000 dollars in consulting work over the last two years and being this open, especially about my personal life, makes it very hard for me to date.
Not to mention that I’m a tough person to get along with for any length of time. I am stubborn, sarcastic, prideful and I like to talk shit. Over time I wear people down, just like I wear myself down. Eventually they just get tired of it. Tired of me.
I’ve lived with myself and the harshness for a long time now so I know how to handle it when I get too aggressive. Something that is not as easy for others to do. Especially with any regularity.
Those moments of loud assholery are me communicating… not knowing how to do it any other way https://t.co/3vVjfz7kqa pic.twitter.com/GXv9UJVPHB
— Raymmar Tirado (@RayTirado) March 6, 2015
They do not understand that it is the only way I know how to be. That those moments of loud assholery are me trying to communicate with them and not knowing how to do it any other way. It’s like some sick twisted joke I play on myself. “Let’s see how fast you can scare this one away Raymmar!”
But I’ve gotten tired of it. Tired of myself.
This was the year I wanted to change all that. I wanted to try and understand others better. I wanted to be more empathetic and emotionally available. But it has been a hard transition. And I have to admit that I have not been doing a very good job of living up to that resolution.
But then I met her.
She absolutely baffles me. She is more beautiful than I deserve and she makes me laugh. I can be honest with her and she has even seen some of my darkness and still came back for seconds. I think it might be the main reason we could work. Because our pains have connected.
I can feel an energy on her that is the same energy that I have lived with for so long. The hatred that comes from being betrayed by your closest friend. The energy that comes from holding it all in. From never letting anyone see you for who you really are. The pain that comes with hiding from yourself. Form your emotions. From pretending to be stronger than you are.
I know that pain. I don’t know the specifics of her pain, but I want to. I want to know everything about her. The good and the bad. Because if I am going to learn how to love again, I have to be willing to lose again. Because that is what I would want someone to want from me. Because I am only interested in someone who can see the darkness inside of me and still chose to stay. And what better way to get what you want in this world than to let someone know that you’re looking for it.
So yeah, she slept over last night, but we didn’t have sex. And honestly, I’m ok with that.
I’ll be ok with that for as long as it takes to find out whatever it is that we need to find out about each other before we are open to taking that next step. Before we find out where the next turn leads in the early stages of whatever this dance we are doing might be. Until we can communicate about what we want from each other and from ourselves. And until that moment comes and neither of us hesitates.
A short audio poem that will surely move your soul.
In this episode of RayDO uncensored:
Arturo Santos Jr., author of a the book “All Out For Love,” joins us in studio as we discuss going all out to keep the people that we love in our loves and the stories of falling flat on our faces along the way.
In his new book Arturo takes on his quest to win back a lost lover after almost a year of being apart. We dissect the motives behind the book, real-life romantic strategy and I prod Arturo to try and get him to spoil the ending of his book.
I didn’t just want to have him on the show to sell his book, so we dive deep in to our personal philosophies on love and relationships in general. We expose some of our personal experiences and I talk about my painful divorce and where it has left me in the world of women.
We dive into both of our romantic pasts as we dissect what it takes to fall in love, be in love and stay in love. Something I am not sure I actually have a grasp on so honestly, proceed with caution. We’re just a couple of deep thinkers breaking down our own relationships and talking about what we think it means to go all out for love.
Resources mentioned in this podcast
- Arturo’s Book: All Out For Love
- What Is Love? The first poem I read in the podcast
- The Breakup – Poem I read at the end of podcast
I am working on a video for this poem but I decided to share the audio now instead of waiting a few months or however long it takes to produce the video. The concept is relevant considering our social situation and well, I’m also kind of impatient like that.
I am interested in creative collaborations, so please, feel free to download the audio above and use it as a backdrop for your footage. Then share the link with us and maybe we will publish it on our site. Be sure to attribute the audio properly in your video.
Send submissions or any questions to: submit@Raymmar.com
Scroll down for the poem text.
The Poem
I stand beside you and feel all alone staring at my feet, then down to my phone.
Maybe inside of this small screen I’ll see, a friend thats been patiently waiting for me.
Someone who “likes” the things that I write but still no one’s here when day turns to night.
But no matter how long I stare at that phone, I still end up feeling completely alone.
Then I look at you and it seems to me, that you are as popular as anyone can be.
How do you make the friends that you have, and why do I never see you feel sad?
Is it that you’re so much stronger than me or is there something else, a thing I can’t see?
But there you sit holding your phone, and I Instantly wonder, if you too, are alone.
Could we all be lost, together as one, always connected but friendships with none.
There is a mass of we’s and a slew of you’s, but its getting harder to find the few who are true.
Everyone wants but few want to give, everyone dies, but not all of us live.
So unplug your mind and set down that phone, we can’t solve these problems together alone.
Why fitting in is not what it seems and why you should avoid it at all costs.
You see them all the time.
The cool people.
The person you wish you could be.
The people we all wish we could be.
We look up to them, want to be them, wish we could grow up to be… “Just Like Mike!”
The people who convince you that you can only be cool if you look, act and do what they do. Eat, drive and play like they do. Fuck, slut and strut, exactly like they do.
More and more in society we deify these individuals and prop them up on pedestals, in place of ourselves and our peers.
Instead of promoting the exploration of a deeper inner-consciousness (one where we might actually find ourselves) we promote a collective unconsciousness. One that that has infected our entire society.
We find ourselves entertained by our lack of education and enthralled by our erotic inclinations.
We exalt the men who make us think that in order to fit-in we must give-in. They make us feel like we should relinquish our thoughts and accept theirs instead. I mean, everyone else is already doing it. You want to be like the rest of the class don’t you?
You know who I am talking about: The politicians, corporations, large religious organizations etc. Basically anyone who’s agenda it is to manage the masses. The ones who hide their message in plain sight. The ones who tell us we’re wrong any time we try to fight.
They lurk all around us. Tempting us to give up our hopes in exchange for theirs. Convincing us that individual endeavors are arbitrarily inappropriate. That if you really want to “be cool” you’ll think about the collective. Sacrifice yourself for the greater good. Fit-in to get-in. You know the rules.
The basic concepts behind the game haven’t changed since you were in elementary school. The stakes however, those have changed. Dramatically.
Now we’re playing for keeps. We are playing for souls, and life-savings. For products and for professions. We are allowing our whole lives to be played like pawns in a game. Small steps forward, always at the command of someone else.
The cool people have always liked to collect other cool people. The “elites” always entice the masses with the simplest of notions. But it is the independent thinkers that live on the outside of their influence that make them worry. The ones who stand free from the restriction of their opinions. The few who think for themselves.
We make them feel uneasy about their intentions, even if their intentions are good. But take note, it is rarely the well intentioned who plead for you to “understand.” It is often those who would lead you astray that would have you change your way.
The cool kids are always worried about what brand of clothes you are wearing and the make and model of the car you drive. They want you to worry about possessions because things are beautiful distractions. But us? We ask you to convince yourself. We pass on our information and then suggest you look more than skin deep. That you make an effort to find the answers on your own.
We must not label ourselves on the premise of “have” and “have-not,” but instead on the concept of “does” and “does-not.” We must base our interactions on what each of us as individuals are contributing to society as a whole. Forgetting about how we can fit in and focusing instead on how we can bend the world around us.
In what way can you make a mark? How can you make the world want to fit in with you? In what way can you move the masses? How can you turn the tables on the establishment?
Because the truth is that the majority of people in this world will never lose a minute of sleep thinking about you. They will not care whether you are depressed and want to kill yourself, can’t get laid or can’t get paid.
Whatever it is that is holding you back is your own puzzle to solve. It is up to you to go out there and make the best of whatever circumstances life has dealt you. It is up to you to look at life and the world as something more to explore. It is up to you to make yourself impossible to ignore.
So if you ask me, (and I know you didn’t) I say “Fuck the cool kids,” those assholes always run away when things gets hard. Forget about fitting in and go find yourself instead. I bet we’d all like that version of you a lot more anyway.
You Never Know Where A Friendly Gesture Might Lead You
“This is my favorite part” I said sarcastically to the redhead in front of me as we grabbed our belts, shoes and other miscellaneous belongings from the trays that run through the x-ray scanners at the airport security check point.
It was something I might have said to anyone in front of me in the same situation, but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t noticed her seconds earlier as she went through the body scanner before me. I guess you could say that this was my comedic attempt at pre-flight flirting.
She was stunningly beautiful. She was wearing a tight white shirt that left little of her figure to the imagination, had a brilliantly red head of hair, and a smile that snatched my gaze as if there was nothing else in the entire airport worth looking at.
“Oh yeah, I wish I could do this every day…” I continued, flirting casually while collecting my belongings.
The encounter was brief, nothing out of the ordinary. We were at an airport after all. The Reagan International Airport in Washington DC. I was headed back to Florida and as far as I knew, she was heading to some far off land, never to be seen again.
After the brief exchange I walked towards the gate, not even paying attention to which way she went.
I didn’t think much of it at the time. Just a little playful banter with a random stranger. A little airport humor to lighten up the all too intrusive process of the pre-flight screening.
We Meet Again
As I waited to board the plane, I noticed that she was standing right behind me.
Pleasantly surprised to see her again I said hi and introduced myself formally.
As we walked down the aisle of the airplane I noticed that she was still right behind me. I know because I kept looking back and checking to see when she would peel off and find her seat.
“You following me?,” I asked as I looked back a third time to see if she was still there. It was the perfect continuation of the playful flirting that had started at the airport security checkpoint.
As we walked further down the aisle and got closer to the back of the airplane I started thinking to myself that I might actually win the airline lottery for once.
The Airplane Lottery?
You know what I am talking about. You get on an airplane, sit in your seat and watch all of the people coming down the aisle; trying to determine which of them will fill the empty seat next to you.
You mentally will someone normal to sit down next to you (maybe that hot girl you were flirting with earlier) but they always end up walking past you. More often than not, you end up with some overweight mouth breather that wants to talk to you about online video games for the entire flight.
I Happened to be traveling with a friend this time, so I knew at least one of the people I’d be sharing the row with but there was a wild card third seat, and the cute redhead from the security line was still behind me. There was still a chance.
Ben and I sat down and she kept walking. It was over. She would be rows away and I would have no chance to get to know her further.
Not A Total Loss
“21 F” said some guy behind me. Apparently someone was sitting in his seat. I look back briefly and when I did, I realized that all was not lost. There she was in the row directly behind me. Between some old man and an teenager who must have thought he was the airline lottery jackpot winner when he saw who he would be sitting next to for the entire flight.
Our eyes met again and by this point I was starting to get the feeling that there might actually be a little chemistry between us.
Over the next few minutes I looked back at her at least three or four times. I finally said, “Quit looking at me.”
I Was Obviously Kidding
I had been joking with some of the other people around me on the plane and while a number of us were laughing and talking back and forth, I found myself looking back in her direction way too often. I just couldn’t seem to help myself. Her smile was addicting.
When the pilot turned the cabin lights off I looked back at her again and said “Well… This is not exactly how I pictured our first date…” which not only got a laugh out of her but from a few other passengers sitting around us that heard the witty one liner.
As the airplane took off, I leaned over and asked Ben if he would switch her seats when the pilot turned off the fasten seat belts light. I felt like I said it too loudly and hoped she hadn’t heard me. At that point I wasn’t sure how I was going to ask her to make the switch and I wasn’t even all that confident that she would actually agree to do it.
The Switch
I sat and thought about it for a while before turning to ask her “Hey, want to switch my buddy seats so we can make this first date official?” It took her a second to register what I was asking and I actually thought she might say no for a second, but she didn’t.
The time between asking her and making the actual seat swap felt like forever, but it was probably closer to 15 minutes. There was quite a bit of turbulence and I remembered the captain telling us to keep our seat belts on so I prodded Ben to just get up and make the swap.
We spent the rest of the flight chatting away. Not an awkward moment between us for almost two hours. At one point I remember wishing that the flight was a little longer so that we could keep the conversation going. Mostly I just wanted to know more about her. I wasn’t ready for it to end.
Second Date?
“Do you have a boyfriend?,” I asked as we began our descent.
“No” she replied. I followed up by asking her to go on a real date with me sometime soon.
I handed her my phone with a new contact entry screen open to exchange information during the descent. After her name she typed Airplane Date. It was her turn to be funny and I appreciated the humor.
Walking from the plane towards the baggage claim, we said a few final words as we prepared to go our separate ways. There was a little awkwardness at this point, at least in my mind, as I decided if this interaction had been hug-worthy. I decided not to push my luck. Her car was parked in a different lot than ours and she had not checked a bag. This would be goodbye for now.
What’s Next?
I’m not sure where this road leads or if we will ever even see each other again, but it’s too good a story to not think about how we might tell it at some party five years from now.
Maybe we are married and someone asks, “How did you two meet?”
We might look at each other and say, “Funny you should ask actually.”
Maybe she starts to tell the story of our security line encounter and then turns to me and says, “No you tell it honey, you tell the story so much better!”
Or…
Maybe I’ll never see her again. Maybe this is just a fun little story about a chance encounter.
I kind of hope that’s not the case because I would love to see that smile again, but this is life after all, and whom among us knows how any of our stories will actually end.
P.s. I am well aware that there are dozens of other outcomes to this situation, but none of them would have made as good a story. However, I would like to hear your thoughts on this experience, so leave them in the comments below.
My friends have been trying to introduce the two of us for a while now; I just haven’t been all that interested in meeting anyone new lately. I have never actually seen her but she has quite the reputation. I hear she is not much to look at, but they assure me we will get along fine, apparently we have a lot in common; we are both awesome and unpredictable.
I am a little worried because I hear she gets around. I’m not one to judge, or jump to conclusions, but I’m not in a hurry to feel like a whore either. I don’t want to be just another notch on her belt, though; I am rather curious to see what all the fuss is about. Surely she can’t be everything they say she is… can she?
The Decision
I keep telling my friends that I am not looking for a relationship but they assure me that she is not the relationship type. I figured, “what the heck”. I’m in need of a distraction in my life right about now, so I selfishly set my apprehensions aside and agreed to meet her. What’s the worst that can happen?
I selfishly set my apprehensions aside and agreed to meet her. What is the worst that can happen?
Later that day, I found myself debating whether I would truly be ok using her for my situational gratification? Could we really just enjoy each other casually, without attachment? Could I calm my concerns and simply enjoy her company, no-strings-attached? One date would not be so bad… would it?
Part of me is getting a little nervous. I am not looking to fall in love, but If she is half as amazing as everyone makes her out to be, then how will I ever resist a second date? What happens if I fall hopelessly in lust and find myself unable to control my composure.
We Meet
We decided to meet at a friends house. We picked a neutral site so there would be no unnecessary pressure on either of us. Mutual friends would be close in case things got awkward. We figured, worst case scenario, we would meet, feel each other out and then go our separate ways if things didn’t work out.
But the conversation was effortless, and before long we were lost. Oblivious to our surroundings, enthralled in the experience of each other’s company.
She Makes A Move
Every so often her leg would brush up against mine and I knew she was doing it on purpose. At one point she put her hand on my thigh and it was as if she had reached right through my skin, down to the bone, squeezed a nerve, and sent a chill running through my spine, up into my brain, culminating in a shiver that shook my entire body.
I had been warned about this; I knew she was making her move. I resisted the temptation to run off alone with her; there would be plenty of time for that later. Instead, we just sat there and enjoyed the moment. Slowly building on the tension that was quickly filling the air between us, growing stronger, growing evermore intense as the night went on.
My jaw clenched and my body quaked at the indecision of the emotions that were filling my head. The music coursed through us as if the radio knew just what we needed to hear at exactly the right moment. I looked around at one point and noticed that no one else was around us. We were alone with each other but surrounded by something I could not explain.
As time passed we grew closer still. By the end of the night we were in a full embrace, unable to keep our hands off of each other, consumed by the night, and in that moment I saw myself for the first time. Unencumbered by the constraints of society or the judgement of the people around me. It was like she reached down my throat, grabbed everything good that had ever been inside of me and smacked me In the face with it; setting me free, if only in that moment.
It was like she reached down my throat, grabbed everything good that had ever been inside of me and smacked me In the face with it; setting me free, if only in that moment.
My friends were right.
She was not the prettiest girl at the party and I’m not sure there is any real long-term potential, but there was definitely something irresistibly attractive about her. She understood me and made me feel like we had been friends our whole lives. She wasn’t everything they told me she would be but I definitely want to see her again.
What do you think? Have you had an experience like this? Let me know about it in the comments below!
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